Early in the morning on March 1st, I got a text from my friend Starr. Her message hit me like a punch to the gut: "I'm not in a good place. I can't get off the couch."
"What's up?" I responded.
She texted a link to a press release announcing the immediate dismissal of transgender veterans from the military. "I am so triggered. Just like that—years of service, sacrifice, and courage erased."
Starr served 13 years as a gay woman in hiding, navigating a system that forced her to suppress who she was just to survive. And this morning, that press release dragged her back to that same dark place—afraid, invisible, unable to exist freely. Hiding in plain sight once again. Unable to get off the couch.
"Let's take a ride. I'll be right over," I texted.
I picked her up, we got a cup of coffee and took a ride to the water. We set up our chairs and just took in the sun, the sea, the serenity. Self-care is always my go to, and seems to be the fuel to what's next. And there is something about being near the water that allows things to flow.
There were no words at first. After a time, the words emerged from the silence. With them came the pain, the frustration, the sheer exhaustion of watching people be dehumanized again and again. "I am so done with this. I will no longer be silent," Starr proclaimed.
I felt goosebumps all over my body. My own words flowed in response to her proclamation. Starr is no longer willing to hide in plain sight. Neither am I.
The truth is, this is not leadership. This is abuse. And we are so done with it!
This isn’t just about one policy. One group. One moment in time. This is about every human being who has been dismissed, silenced, or devalued.
This is about refusing to accept a world where people are erased because of who they are and who and how they love.
So we created this space. Not just to talk about it—but to stand up, speak out, share resources and take action.
Because no one should have to hide in plain sight. Not then. Not now. Not ever.
So that day, as we sat with our laptops, overlooking the water, So Done With This was created, Starr's first blog post was published and our first episode of Conversations That Matter was released.
Join the movement here: https://www.sodonewiththis.com
"What's up?" I responded.
She texted a link to a press release announcing the immediate dismissal of transgender veterans from the military. "I am so triggered. Just like that—years of service, sacrifice, and courage erased."
Starr served 13 years as a gay woman in hiding, navigating a system that forced her to suppress who she was just to survive. And this morning, that press release dragged her back to that same dark place—afraid, invisible, unable to exist freely. Hiding in plain sight once again. Unable to get off the couch.
"Let's take a ride. I'll be right over," I texted.
I picked her up, we got a cup of coffee and took a ride to the water. We set up our chairs and just took in the sun, the sea, the serenity. Self-care is always my go to, and seems to be the fuel to what's next. And there is something about being near the water that allows things to flow.
There were no words at first. After a time, the words emerged from the silence. With them came the pain, the frustration, the sheer exhaustion of watching people be dehumanized again and again. "I am so done with this. I will no longer be silent," Starr proclaimed.
I felt goosebumps all over my body. My own words flowed in response to her proclamation. Starr is no longer willing to hide in plain sight. Neither am I.
The truth is, this is not leadership. This is abuse. And we are so done with it!
This isn’t just about one policy. One group. One moment in time. This is about every human being who has been dismissed, silenced, or devalued.
This is about refusing to accept a world where people are erased because of who they are and who and how they love.
So we created this space. Not just to talk about it—but to stand up, speak out, share resources and take action.
Because no one should have to hide in plain sight. Not then. Not now. Not ever.
So that day, as we sat with our laptops, overlooking the water, So Done With This was created, Starr's first blog post was published and our first episode of Conversations That Matter was released.
Join the movement here: https://www.sodonewiththis.com
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