When Exhaustion Speaks: What It Really Means to Be “Doing Enough”

I am tired. Bone-deep, heart-heavy tired. It's the kind of tired that doesn’t just come from lack of sleep but from weeks, maybe years, of carrying too much, holding too many details, and trying to make life a little easier for someone else.

The past few days have been a whirlwind. I’ve been packing, organizing, cleaning, shopping, coordinating with nurses, administrators, movers, and family members to prepare for my dad’s move into assisted living. The furniture is arranged for wheelchair navigation. The kitchen is stocked. The bathroom has been made safe. The bed is made with bed rails installed. The closet is organized. And all the paperwork ... so much paperwork ... is filled out, signed and delivered.

It has literally been endless motion for days. And tomorrow, my dad will move into his new home — a space that represents both relief and heartbreak, endings and beginnings and a profound sense of letting go.

And I am completely wiped out. I haven’t written a blog post or any words in the new book I'm writing in at least a couple of weeks. I haven't done a thing for my business. I haven’t followed up with clients or sent an email or made progress on the course I'm developing. I've missed several appointments because I haven't been paying attention to my own calendar or my own schedule. Only dad's  My brain wants to say I’ve accomplished nothing.

But my heart knows that is simply not true.

Because here’s the thing about caregiving: it doesn’t fit neatly into productivity checklists. There’s no line item for “held steady through a major life transition.” No checkbox for “kept love alive through exhaustion.” No bullet point for “showed up again even though it hurt or was frustrating.” This is the work. The deeply human, soul-level work of showing up with compassion, patience, and love  even when you’re running on fumes.

I'll write about it later when I'm not so deeply in it. When I'm not so tired. When I know Dad is settled into his new environment and has everything he needs to adjust to his new environment and his new life. And when I have the energy to go back to his house and rearrange what is left of the furniture to set up my own space to rest, recover and rediscover my own new routine.

But tonight, I’m choosing to stop the endless list-making. I’m choosing to rest without guilt. To let the exhaustion mean what it really means: that I’ve poured my energy into something sacred. Perhaps that’s what “doing enough” really looks like.

Tomorrow, I’ll take my dad to his new home. I’ll help him get settled, hang a few photos, and sit for a while before I head home. And then, maybe, I’ll breathe again.

Caregiving isn’t just about caring for someone else. It’s also about remembering to care for ourselves in the process. That’s the lesson I keep learning, again and again — and it’s one worth sharing.

These are the real, raw moments that inspired me to write Caregiving Essentials: What to Say, Do, and Prepare Before Caregiving Becomes Your Second Full-Time Job. It's a practical guide for high-capacity women navigating aging parents, tough decisions, and caregiving curveballs with clarity, confidence, and compassion.

If you’d like to follow along as I write, and be the first to know when the book is released. I’d love to have you on my list.

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