When Procrastination May Actually Be a Sign You Need a Pause

I usually publish a new blog post on Tuesdays. Today is Thursday. That probably tells you something about the week I’m having. Or maybe it tells you something about the season I’m in.

I’ve been making real progress on my caregiving book, My Caregiving Essentials. I just got the first section back from my editor and I'm pleased with how it is looking. I’ve been watching the response to the Refrigerator Emergency Kit I just released and paying attention to how deeply people seem to be resonating with practical, simple tools that help families feel a little more prepared.

I’ve been working on the book website, planning the launch, looking at my publishing timeline, and feeling the weight of a mid-June goal that is both exciting and slightly terrifying. And yet, today, when I could have been fully focused on finalizing the next section of the manuscript, I found myself staring out the window and petting my cat. Then I turned on the WNBA Dallas Wings replay. Then I took a call with a colleague who needed some support. Then I made plans to go grab an afternoon bite with a friend.

At first, I wanted to call it procrastination and be frustrated with myself for not accomplishing what is on my list for today. And maybe, partly, it was. But I decided to take a step back, reflect and write a bit about it.

There is definitely a place in me that knows when I am circling the work instead of entering it. I can organize the desk, check the stats, tweak the website, look at the calendar, make one more cup of tea, and convince myself I am still “working.” There have even been the days that I have found myself in the middle of a cleaning project that I didn't intend to do. 

But I am starting to understand that what looks like procrastination is sometimes more complicated than that. Maybe it is resistance. Maybe it is creative style. Maybe it is a nervous system asking for a little room. Maybe it is the part of me that has been living inside deadlines, logistics, decisions, and caregiving responsibility for a long time saying, Could we please have a little fun too?

The truth is, I am not writing this book from a quiet lake-front cabin with unlimited stretches of uninterrupted time or sequestered in a hotel room for the sole purpose of finishing the manuscript. I've done both. But this time I am writing it from inside the life that inspired it.

I am writing it after almost two years of being deeply involved in my dad’s care. Hospital admissions. Rehab. Assisted living. Medications. Appointments. Paperwork. Conversations. Worry. Relief. Gratitude. Exhaustion. Recovery. I am writing it while still navigating the emotional and practical realities of caregiving.

Just like you may be doing your thing in the middle of the life you're living.

And that matters.

Maybe the pauses, the interruptions, the moments when I cannot quite sit still and finish the next section are not failures. Maybe they are information.

Sometimes procrastination is avoidance. Sometimes it is fear dressed up as busyness. Sometimes it is perfectionism trying to keep us from taking the next messy step.

But sometimes, I think, what we call procrastination is actually a signal that something inside us needs attention before we can keep going. A meal. A laugh. A walk. A basketball game. A friend. A moment away from the seriousness of it all. A little breathing room. A whole day off.

I have spent a lot of my life being capable. Responsible. Productive. The one who can figure things out. The one who keeps going. And caring for an aging parent or a family can intensify that part of us. There is always something else to do. Something else to prepare. Something else to follow up on. Something else to research, schedule, ask, fix, organize, or anticipate.

No wonder so many of us feel like we are always behind. No wonder rest can feel like laziness. No wonder fun can feel irresponsible. No wonder a missed Tuesday blog post can feel like evidence that we are somehow failing, even when we are actually carrying a lot.

But here is what I am learning.

Being behind on one thing does not mean I am behind in my life. Missing my usual rhythm does not mean I have lost my way. Taking an afternoon to watch a game or meet a friend does not erase the work I have already done. And needing a pause does not mean I am not committed.

In fact, I wonder if honoring the pause is actually how I stay committed.

The truth is, this book matters to me. The Refrigerator Emergency Kit matters to me. Helping families prepare before the crisis matters to me. Supporting women in honoring themselves before they get lost taking care of others matters to me. 

I matter too. And so do the parts of me that need friendship, laughter, movement, delight, and something other than responsibility. That is so easy to forget when we are in a season of caring for others.

It is easy to tell ourselves we will have fun later. We will rest later. We will write later. We will live later.

Later, when things calm down.
Later, when everyone is settled.
Later, when the deadline is met.
Later, when the crisis has passed.

But lately I am questioning that.

What if “later” is part of the problem?
What if the life we are trying to build has to be allowed into the middle of the life we are already living?
What if a Thursday blog post, written after a Tuesday deadline slipped by, is not a failure at all?
What if it is simply the truth of one moment in time?

The truth is, I am making progress on the book. The truth is, I am also tired.
The truth is, I am committed. The truth is, I am also human.
The truth is, some days I need deep focus and some days I need a chicken sandwich with a friend.
The truth is, this is how the work is happening right now.

Not perfectly. Not on the exact schedule I imagined. Not with some fantasy version of me who wakes up every morning with total clarity, unlimited energy, and perfect productivity.

But with the real me.

The one who is living the caregiving story while writing the caregiving book.
The one who is watching what people respond to and realizing that simple tools, like a Refrigerator Emergency Kit, can make a real difference.
The one who is trying to meet a deadline and also trying not to disappear inside the deadline.
The one who is still learning that productivity and presence do not have to be enemies.

So yes, I missed my Tuesday blog post. Here is what happened instead.

I lived. I noticed. I resisted a little. I rested a little. I connected with someone I love. I asked myself whether I was procrastinating or protecting my creative energy. And then I came back to the page.

Maybe that is the practice. Not never drifting. Not never delaying. Not never needing a break. But learning how to return. Again and again. To the work. To the truth. To ourselves.

If you are in a season where you feel like you are behind, overwhelmed, distracted, or not moving as quickly as you thought you would, maybe this is your reminder too.

You may not be failing. You may just be carrying more than you’ve acknowledged. You may need a little support, a little structure, a little break, a little laughter, or one small next step that helps you feel less alone in the middle of it all.

Because sometimes the next right step is not doing everything. Sometimes it is doing one thing that makes the next hard moment a little easier.


If this resonated with you and you know someone who might also need it, feel free to share the link to this post: 
https://www.amatterofmagic.com/blog/when-procrastination-may-actually-be-a-sign-you-need-a-pause#/


If this spoke to you, I invite you to explore more reflections from A Matter of Magic — stories, insights, and heart-centered reminders for navigating real life.

---

EXPLORE A MATTER OF MAGIC BLOG HERE