- When you think about your future, are your thoughts optimistic or defeating?
- Are you telling yourself that it’s silly to follow a dream?
- Are you spending too much time worrying about all the things that could go wrong?
- When you look in the mirror, are your thoughts kind or unkind? (see below for a powerful daily Mirror Exercise to help shift this)
Instead of focusing on what’s wrong, focus on what’s right. When an obstacle arises, remind
yourself that you’re a good problem solver, and take some time to amp yourself up with all the
ways you can handle a tough situation to build up your confidence.
My teacher and mentor, Jack Canfield, teaches the concept of the inverse paranoid. He says, "I consider myself to be an inverse paranoid. I always operate as if everything is part of a universal plot to enhance my well-being."
When I first became aware of the power of my thinking, I read a book by Mendi Audlin. When I find myself worrying about a situation and how it's going to play out, I always go back to one of the key questions in her book. "What if it all goes right?" to help me get back to focusing on the positive.
Even when life is challenging, I've shifted to a place of looking for the positive in whatever experience I'm having. I ask myself two questions:
1) What if it's all perfect just the way it is?
2) What opportunity is there in this for me to learn and grow?
These questions got me through the death of my Mom, the death of my younger brother, my Dad's health challenges, the loss of two significant relationships in my life all within the course of one year. The experiences were rich and the growth for all involved was profound; and perfect for preparing me for my next steps in life.
It's certainly okay to fully feel our emotions. In fact, stuffing them down will only cause more problems in the long run. And it's also important to notice that we can experience immense joy and immense pain in and around the same time.